Five Different Ways to Show Love

Quality Time, Quantity Time, Acts of Service, Giving Gifts, and Physical Touch and Closeness. These are the five love languages according to Gary Chapman. Which of these are most important for your children? Gary Chapman says that all children under eight years old need to have all of these all the time. They don’t have any preference to any one, and prefer to have all of them met. This is a bit overwhelming. To have to give my children all of these different kinds of love seems to me allot of work! It’s a good thing children are resilient, or I would be a failure! I love Gary Chapman’s concept though. He is right. Children need lots of love, and in many different ways. This is how we impart God into their lives. God is love according to 1 John 4:16. If we can give love to our children, we are giving them God. That is deep. So even an infant can be ministered to.

I have learned through much trial and error, that children respond the best with patience and love. If you have frustration, and a quick temper, children begin to lose their self-confidence. They no longer feel like they are good enough for you. YOU are the one they most value. YOU are the biggest influence in their lives. YOU are the one they want to please. You are their image of what God wants them to be. If we as parents are not imparting God into their lives with love, what are we showing them?

Now, Gary Chapman has found five different ways to show love to a person. A child can receive any one of these and feel love. This is not so very overwhelming now, since I can choose any one of these at any time for my child. It is like having five different books to read and asking your son or daughter which book they want to read today. Of course they like them all, and would want you to read to them every single one, one right after another, and then all over again. So, which book are you going to read to your child today?

Read this Book to Get Your Child to Sleep Through the Night

Going "Baby Wise" with Gary Ezzo takes much discipline. One of my closest friends at the time my first child was born helped me get more involved with "Baby Wise". At the beginning of the book, it clearly states the importance of being flexible within the schedule of a child. It is very easy to put yourself in a box and not deviate from it. This is how babies can be deprived if parents use this technique unwisely. I myself found that it followed an already established routine that the preemie ward at the hospital started with my first born. The only thing that I did differently from the hospital that Gary Ezzo suggests, is to allow the baby to demand feed at night.

All in all, this book really helped me get comfortable in being a first time parent. I needed something that would help me feel like I was doing something right. There wasn’t very many influences in my life at the time that could look over my shoulder and cheer me on. So, fortunately, with this book in hand I took the milestones as accomplishments and kept going forward. The whole point of the book is on how to get your child sleeping at least six hours a night by a month old. It was a success on all of my children. However, on the last one, I relaxed quite a bit, since I already knew how to be a mom, and didn’t need any self-gratification. She still was able to sleep 6-8 hours a night by a month old.

This is really a great technique, if you are looking for a way to get your baby to sleep through the night.

Collectors Books

I went to a local used bookstore last year. It was small, but full of fascinating books. I was in search of one particular book though. You should know it. The Old Mother Goose book. You know, the one with the checker board look, and the Old Mother Goose lady on the front. If you have one of these books, do not read on in the post. Just give me the book as a Christmas present. Heck, I’ll even pay you what you paid for it.

You would never believe what the book collector said to me about this one book. First of all, I had to be schooled in the fact that books are like baseball cards. Their prices fluctuate according to popularity, availability and age. Books are not just made in masses. They are made in numbers. It just so happens that since The Old Mother Goose book went out of print because of it not being “politically correct”, it drove up the price dramatically. If you have this book in mint condition, you may want to hold onto it until you are really poor and need that money for your house payment or something, because this book last year was priced at $1400. Can you believe that? I used to have this book when I was 12 years old. Now I really wish I kept that book. What a stupid thing I did the day I gave it to goodwill!

It Is Healthy to Get Away Sometimes

“Mommeeee, I don’t want to go with Daddee, I want to stay with youuuu.” Sound familiar to you homeschool moms out there? The little, precious, whiney voice of your wonderful child needing only you, only to say this dreaded phrase in front of your ‘out-of-words’ husband. I cringe every time it happens, because I know my children love their daddy, but how does that make him feel when they don’t want him?

This is what Gary Ezzo calls; Separation Anxiety. I spend most of my time with these children. I am the nurturer. Most of my days are spent in teaching and imparting Godly character into them. Dad makes that possible. He needs the respect due to him. It’s hard for him to have to go to work, and miss all of these precious moments of time that are only here for a short while. He loves these children just as much as I do. Why can’t they see that? I have tried time and again to get them to not do that anymore! But on they go.

Gary Ezzo says in his “Growing Kids Gods Way” series to get away more often if Separation Anxiety is a problem. I have found that helpful. This year, I decided to be the part time homeschool mom, and let my husband take over part of the time. I learned that he is an awesome substitute teacher! Now my children don’t cry so much when I make them be with their dad at the grocery store. They have realized that I am not the only one on earth that can nurture them. So, if you are struggling like I was with separation anxiety, maybe a little bit of separation is the kind of medicine you need?

My Experience in the Public School System

I grew up in the public school system. My district was one of those that passed a student just for effort and not for intelligence. Fortunately, I wasn’t one of those students. When I first started school, my intelligence level was tested above average. My school didn’t believe in skipping grades, so I was placed into a high achievers class in the second grade. This class taught the abstract way of learning. There were allot of problem solving lessons, and theme projects throughout the year. It was assumed that I already knew grammar, so that was the subject I mostly missed as a result of the extended amount of work that was expected of me. I loved the attention of being labeled as one of the smart ones. Unfortunately, I didn’t know it would hurt me like it did.

By the time I made it to junior high, I was put into another test program for high achievers with another level of abstract thinking. I believe that at this point, if my parents were able to support me and help me learn along the way, this level of learning may have benefited me. Unfortunately, they weren’t, and I missed a whole semester of classes that I should have taken, which put me back further in my education. Once I realized that I couldn’t understand anything being taught, I swallowed my pride and stepped into advanced placement classes instead, which at that time, was supposed to be a lower level of learning compared to what I was in. I fit in getting average grades.

Again, I didn’t really grasp the level of learning because I was behind in the work that was being taught due to the experimenting that was done. This of course was never realized by anyone. I had a label, and was treated with the most honor they could treat me since I was tested at above average in the first grade! By highschool it was even worse. I still had my label, so I was placed again into advanced placement classes. Still getting average grades, I couldn’t even write a paper without much turmoil. Going on to college wasn’t any easier. I was told that if high school was difficult, college would be much easier because of how different things are. What was wrong with me? I sure didn’t know at the time. Nothing was getting any easier. The big hopes I had ended, with the low self esteem.

I know now, that I was just merely passed through the system as a statistic. I graduated in advanced placement classes as a number. We all know the numbers. There are a certain amount of students that are special education, there are a certain number of students being average, and then there are the advanced. What I really wish is that the labels would go away, and the teachers to teach according to the needs of each child.

This is why I homeschool. Only the people that need to know what my children’s level is, know. There are no labels. My children learn, and are taught to their abilities. If there are weaknesses, they are not overlooked. I don’t “pass” my children. It is never assumed that they “just know” any subject. They achieve at every level. My goal is to make sure they are happy with who they are, and succeed in this unfair world!

The Bookstore

How many of you have found yourself lost in the bookstore? Kind of fun 'uh? There are so many books to look at. So many to buy. This has become my new hobby. In fact the last two dates I've gone on with my husband, we have found ourselves at the bookstore. I am loving it. Okay, I've only been homeschooling for 5 years now. I admit I am still an amature. Sooner or later the love of books becomes a homeschool family addiction. First it started with my daughter. It was my fault. I was the one who had to teach her how to read! Don't get me wrong, I love to read too. Then I found the bookstore. These books aren't that expensive to buy either. They are only the price of a really expensive mocha! I even found some of J.R.R. Tolkien books for $2.99! Can you believe that? Guess that series has lost some popularity, or else they had a really big shipment come in and needed to make more room for other books. I just wish I didn't have those Tolkien books already, or I would have taken advantage of that killer deal!

I've been reading Peter Pan to my children. They love it. It's too bad the babysitter finished the book with them tonight. Now I need to find another book. Guess I should go back to the bookstore.... But my husband had to drag me out of there already once tonight. Said he didn't want to spend our whole date on books! We had lots of fun though, and contributed our part to the economy. Thank you, God, for the bookstore!

Our Great Day

I just recently went to my first Homeschool Convention. It was quite an awesome event. There were so many vendors that I didn’t have time to see them all. I did get to make some much needed purchases. Fortunately, I was able to get everything I needed, and more. I wonder... How many of you purchase more than you need when you go to convention. My husband found mood rings. What does that have to do with convention? Anyhow, we all had a great fun-filled day.

My Science Curriculum is Really Cool!

Wow! Apologia science is awesome! It is written in a younger grade school level of reading, and really captivates the children. Even my preschooler is enjoying the book. We purchased the astronomy book this year, and had so much fun with it. The lunar eclipse this year had a whole new meaning and excitement once it was learned about first. The children enjoyed learning about each planet in the sky, and the sun, moon, and even asteroids! The assignments weren’t very hard to prepare for either. I am not very good at preparing for science experiments. Fortunately this curriculum helped me step out of my box sometimes by simplifying the experiments with things that were around the house. One such experiment had a flashlight and something shaped like a ball. This was to symbolize the earth, and the flashlight was the sun. What a great way to experience the rotation of the sun! My children kept a writing journal to document everything that was learned in each lesson. I liked that idea so much, we also kept a writing journal for each book that was read from the library! We really did build up a better appreciation of the solar system this year. My children retained much information from this experience.

Is Handwriting Necessary in Homeschool?

Reading, writing, and arithmetic are what we know as the three R’s. Is it important to also teach penmanship? I know one homeschool mom who never taught handwriting to her children. I don’t know if they ever learned to sign their name on anything though.

I myself have tried to put off the importance of teaching penmanship to my children, and get embarrassed when other children their same age can sign their names in cursive. Yet there are so many other subjects that are far more important than what a person’s handwriting might look like. I would love my children to be experts in science. Can you tell me one doctor’s handwriting you can read?

I have decided though, that I will make my children proficient in cursive letters, so they can at least sign their names. When I was in grade school, I had to do the constant handwriting drills that never made sense. If I made the letters perfect one day, how could I make them the same the next if I weren’t in a good mood? It takes only one kind of person to write correctly every single time for those drills I had to do. I will never do that to my children.

My favorite handwriting curriculum is the “Draw Write, Now!” series. This is for any grade or any age level. It teaches how to draw first, giving the children an appreciation of perfecting their artwork. Drawing is an art according to this series. The Japanese culture has it right when they have to spend many hours perfecting their art in handwriting. Each lessen with “Draw, Write, Now!” has a few sentences that go with the picture that the student is expected to learn how to draw. Each picture is put into steps on how to draw it. A kindergartener can accomplish this task easily! If you have older children like I do, I grab a cursive handwriting chart and explain to my children to read what is said for each caption to each picture to be drawn, and write it out with cursive handwriting. This worked great with them! My children have finished one book so far, and already built up much confidence in drawing pictures, and I felt better that their handwriting is improving in leaps and bounds. I highly suggest you check this curriculum out. It might really work for you.

Drippy Grape Juice

I want my son to turn out to be the man of God that he is destined to be. When he was first born, I was thrilled that God would give me such a wonderful little baby. Soon I began to realized that I wanted him to be better than anyone else’s child. Little did I know, that God makes us all imperfect. I have learned this by seeing the imperfections in my children everyday. They are noisy, clumsy, unruly, disobedient, and selfish just to name a few.

When my son was just two years old, he began getting into everything! I couldn’t stop him from getting into things. He was everywhere! Have you had this same occurrence? I ran from one thing to the next. One morning before I woke up, my son decided that he was hungry. He opened the refrigerator and spotted the grape juice. I was abruptly woken up to an awful ear-piercing scream. Once I got to him, I saw it. The grape juice dripping down his chin. His pajamas were soaked all the way to his toes! The floor was a puddle mess, and the inside of the refrigerator was all purple. The empty pitcher was forgotten on the floor. How could he make such a mess? I didn’t even know what to do. So I screamed at him. Now I feel guilty for the horrible way I acted. Where do you even start with a mess like this though? I don’t even remember what I did next, but I will never forget the look of fright on his face after I screamed at him.

Fortunately, eight years later, I have learned to respond to situations like this calmly. Dr. James Dobson wrote a wonderful book I refer to quite often when I need more patience with my son: “Bringing up Boys”. In this book it explains the mental differences between boys and girls. It explains some of the reasons why boys act the way they do, and what a parent can do to divert some of the unruly behaviors of little boys. One of my favorites is the constant running around and getting into things that 2-3 year old boys do. Why do they do this? It’s because they are bored. They need their little minds busy doing something constructive. I loved this piece of advice. I can truly say that I have fun with busy boys. It is a challenge to keep up with them, but with a little patience and lots of things to do they can be the sweetest things in the world. Thank you Dr. James Dobson for your great book!

My Favorite Mrs. March Post

My favorite optimist of all time! Mrs. March should be read by everyone. I love her Aunty Manners posts. I myself am a great fan of manners. Why doesn’t everyone know what good manners are? It really irritates me when you are trying to talk with someone, and they know you are talking, and yet don’t even acknowledge that you even said a word. What do you do, repeat yourself knowing that you are being ignored? Or just dismiss yourself and fume for the next few hours? Mrs. March, please save me from this stressful occurance that just recently happened. Can you tell I am still fuming?

Mrs. Hannigan Writes Really Good

Dear Mrs. Hannigan, I love your name, for some reason I want to think of little orphan Annie. Yet, you are nothing like that Mrs. Hannigan. I love your ideas of natural foods. Just this week, I had the crazy idea of getting my juicer out and attempting your vegetable juice. My husband had to humor me and purchase spinach. It was ridiculous. He was at one of those bulk food stores that everyone go’s to. I didn’t get just 1 pound of spinach I tell you. Now, my family is not going to be able to eat all of this before it go’s bad. I feel a little guilty. The vegetable juice was missing the celery that my husband couldn’t find at that bulk food store. I substituted honey instead. Who wouldn’t like honey with vegetables. Besides, my youngest child was helping me make the darn juice, and insisted that I use the honey. Fortunately, the honey was the only good taste to the juice. I will have to get used to drinking that stuff if I want to use up all of the spinach. Luckily, it takes a lot of spinach to make any juice at all from it. I also have a bulk bag of carrots, but having carrot juice by itself isn’t very fun. So, spinach, carrots, garlic, a few grape tomatoes, and honey will be the juice I will try to like for the next few days. Mrs. Hannigan, thank you for the motivation for eating more healthy.

My Friend, Mrs. Pevensie

Have you visited my friend Mrs. Pevensie? Her wardrobe of knowledge is extremely humorous. You will find her to be down to earth, and real. I love her witty humor. Can’t you all relate to her post about distraction? I am constantly being annoyed by distractions. Lets face it they are everywhere. It wasn’t until this year that I learned to put my thoughts on hold, and address the distraction without forgetting my thought I had. That is very hard to do. I really love my children. Often times I use them as reasons why I can’t get anything done. Is this really true, or is it poor management of time on my part? Am I not praying for grace enough, or is it a lack of focusing in my brain?

I love your article Mrs. Pevensie. I do get distracted with people everywhere. When I am well known, it is worse, but I love the attention. Doesn’t everybody? I try not to forget those quiet ones off to the side though. I was there for a very long time. It wasn’t until most recently that I realized I needed to quit isolating myself (which is so easy to do as a homeschool mom). Naturally, I am not very outgoing, yet I’ve learned that in order for me to build confidence in myself, I need to get out of my box and try to participate in activities going on around me. This also helps in contributing to society which we all should be doing in some way or other.

My Friend, The Vertical Challenge

I will be posting comments about my favorite blogs for the next few days. I encourage you to look them up. These blogs are the best. If you have any favorites, let me know, I will check them out. Maybe they will get added into my favorites.

The first blog I will write about is “The Vertical Challenge” She is a dear friend of mine. I love her background. How does she get that music? It must be the blog site she subscribes to. The massive amount of pictures are inspiring. You will soon see many pictures on my site as well. I like the bits of humor you can find on her page. It definately is a vertical challenge at her site.